Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be my happily ever after

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I will never forgive him for lying to me but it has been three years since the divorce was final and I try to be civil when I see him. Every day I am more content and stable. I feel now that I can be happy every day. My ex was not happy for the last decade, at least, of our marriage. He made our household an awful place while he tried hard to play out his fantasies of “having it all”. ‘The loss of companionship and intimacy is hard’ I often heard the saying, “if he wanted to, he would.” I never realized what this truly meant, and now I do. Chloe

Get Divorced, Be Happy: How Becoming Single Turned Out to Be

At the age of 23 I moved for him to be able to work, I left all my friends and family behind for a fresh start. Bella It caused a lot of distress for my partner and my family (particularly my mother). For them, it had come out of the blue because nothing was “wrong” in their eyes so nobody understood why I wanted to leave. I stayed for a while longer because of the upset it was causing but also because of the pandemic. When COVID-19 hit, I had nowhere else to go. I knew my grandparents would have taken me in but it was 2020 and I didn’t want to risk spreading anything, so I stayed.

Like a best mate in a book to guide you through hell – and out the other side via belly laughs, firefighters and finding joy in a new way of living” ― Helen Russell. I now look at my marriage and know, very confidently, that yes, we were definitely not good for each other. Of course, as soon as I left, all the red flags came flooding forward (from the past 6 years of our romantic relationship.) I’ve also come to the wonderful conclusion that I am, and never will be, the victim. I had done everything right and stayed true to my heart. I was committed, faithful, and hardworking. It is CLEAR as day that my husband was/is the victim of his own crimes, and will forever live in the filth and consequences of his actions. I won’t! It had nothing to do with me, and my life has become my own again. Never again will I sacrifice my emotions or boundaries, and I will respect my heart from now on. I have the freedom to do and say whatever I want, and no one will ever take that away from me again. I am victorious, and he is vile. I can recommend, as a one stop shop, Gingerbread. This organisation not only explains your rights, but advocates for single parents and also provides a forum to connect with others. The new law removes the need to ‘blame’ one party and will encourage a more constructive approach to separation, promoting reconciliation and reflection where possible but ultimately trusting the judgment of the couple involved. I’d also want people in this situation to know that even though it will be hard, you will come out the other side and be happy again. Alicia Chloe

Get Divorced, Be Happy - Penguin Books UK

My friends and family were relieved and happy about my decision because they saw how I was suffering in this marriage. Of course his family and friends were the ones telling me to stay married, try to stay together for the baby etc.What’s different about dating after divorce, how have you found navigating that world as a divorcee? For the whole marriage I was under the pressure of his mental abuse. He was a really toxic person who liked to blame everything on me and never agreed or admitted to his mistakes.It was a relief for me getting that divorce. I felt alone in my marriage. My ex was controlling and I often felt browbeaten into doing things I didn’t want to. He was also very prescriptive of how I should look and dress etc. Eventually, I went to 18 months of couple counselling to try to save my marriage (I had two young kids) but it wasn’t enough.